restart #1

okay so, its five days to college. remember what was it like to enter the hostel for the first time? man.

I am sitting in the pile of suitcases, dirty clothes, memories and regrets
and regrets.
did I mention regrets?

Why is past painful? because that day you chose to watch a movie instead of writing the business plan. that day you didn't choose hardwork. because that day you didn't choose to live in the present.

there are a couple of them that, when I am aware of them, don't let me breathe. there are some that make we want to thrash my head on a wall a couple of times.

I have lived a habit of procrastination and under-confidence. at every moment I have questioned my abilities and my powers. I cannot say confidently that I would get over them when the clock strikes a designated time. That a powerful light of knowledge and wisdom would bestow over me and everything will change when I wake up tomorrow.

the only way to get out of this passive, fruitless, monotonous life is to take one step at a time. and not failing at it. that is the only way I could get over my weaknesses.

Fuck man I have lived enough years in despise. in longing. in wishing something that hasn't yet happened. I have not dreamed. I have just imagined.

one thing I have to be aware of: you make your own life. no book can change you. no motivation can change you. you are always waiting for that one incident that changes your life. well, guess what? it ain't happening. it ain't happening. wait, let me say that one more time, it ain't happening.

let me make this really clear. life is not going to be simple. you are going to make real tough choices. and you have to do real hard work if you want to land somewhere good. this is the only deciding factor. and that is why its not crowded at the top. and that is why lamborghinis are not produced as much as wagonRs are. what you are doing, most people do. and most people fail.

so let me break this to you. if you want to make it big. if you want to get the girl. if you want to leave a legacy. if you want to complete all your dreams. the only way is through sheer hard work. everything else will fall in place. the more time you give, the better you will strategise, the better will be your moves.

but hey! you can always watch that one movie one more time. that one tv show one more time. or you can facebook. 9 gag. all the other things. you can also choose living small. always. thats the last resort that most people put first. the first thing that they look for is comfort. and thats why, its not crowded at the top.

choose.
but I know what your choice is.

the first one?
cool! thats what I expected.

now read the rules.

I have fought back. I did, a couple of times. But I have been too weak willed. Too uncertain of myself. And I know very well that leaders are not made this way. I have located the trend that has killed or degraded a lot of my dreams, and that is to bow down to your weakness. to your devil's voice. to not pay heed to what your heart is trying to say.
"you must fight, just to keep them alive"

a brief description of what I am today: I am shubham sharma. my college gets over in a week. I turned 22 last month. I am fat. I am losing hairs. I live in a wretched apartment, but I am soon going to change. I have a job that has its own perks and problems. I have constrained number of friends. I am not confident enough. I have a startup foodos that has accumulated a strong team and is in process to get traction. I love a girl for 7 fucking years but we are barely more than strangers now.

What I want to be in five years: I want to have a big huge ass mansion. I want to make foodos tremendously huge. like how google started with search and is now something completely different. I want to marry arpita. I want to have a kickass body. I want to live these five years. to the core.

there has been too much talk and very less work, so I suggest you get to it. we will see where this goes.